Can you remember a song that gives a hint on what we should do if we do not succeed at first?
I am thinking about the chorus in Aaliyah’s Try Again and I feel like it should be one of those songs that motivates us to ‘keep pushing’ or better still reminds us that it is okay to fall but we should never stay down. In clear words, if at first you don’t succeed, dust yourself up and try again (did you sing that line?).
At the moment, discussions about Goals and Resolutions are on the lips of everyone, it is on the pages of newspapers, news channel, social media feeds and of course blogs. Infact, bringing it close home, I wrote a post about Goals as well so it is definitely that time of the year.
In all of this, I have not failed to mention how making a conscious decision is a better option than joining the band wagon to set ‘New Year Resolutions’. By all means, set one as long as a ‘fresh start’ to you does not literally mean waiting for the first day in a New Year.
With reference to making conscious desicions, here is a personal story which I have shared in this post. I had made a conscious decision circa August 2017 to read two paper back books and review them but I never got to achieve this because LIFE HAPPENED. That one goal I planned to achieve got interrupted and that is exactly how life is.
We set goals, plan towards achieving them, resolve to make new changes but we seemingly forget to plan for the What If’s. No one ever wants to anticipate failure, bad news, sickness or even something as sad as the loss of a loved one but the reality is, these things can get in the way of our goals. I have heard stories of trips being cut short, weddings being cancelled or office promotions being rejected because of one complication or the other. Nobody ever prays for bad things to happen but life always has two sides of the coin.
The appropriate question should be, Do we know what to do when Life Interrupts our Goals? I wrote a post about Managing your Expectations and it has very helpful pointers on what to do when you get unexpected negative results. Please read it.
Just as we have made plans for the New Year, two weeks in and most of us have already been presented with bad results. Some are caused by our own negligence and some were mainly just interrupted by life (Life here being anything from sudden illness to losing life or property).
Few days ago, I heard stories about colleagues (3 colleagues actually) who had lost people close to them just early in the new year. Even though, I was not crying at that moment (so to say), I have been in that sad state of mind before and it not a good place for anyone.
This triggered my thoughts so I will be sharing pointers from my experience on how we can gradually work our way to healing and even attempt trying to pursue our goals again after a bad situation.
The State of Initial Shock
So you are going about your day in high spirit, you have data, your phone is fully charged, there is no traffic and all is really well with the world….. Except that you suddenly get a call that destabilises you and leaves you wondering how a love so good could turn sour in nano seconds. In all the roller coaster of emotions you feel,
- Please NEVER think of hurting yourself.
- Find a safe place to stay.
- Allow your friends/family find and take care of you.
- Cry, Cry,Cry if you want too.
- Ask all the rhetorical questions you can think of.
- Refuse to go to work. You will be excused as your mental state of mind is more important.
- Stay indoors if you feel like it.
That initial state of shock is the part where everything could go wrong. Depending on what news/result you get, always remember someone is going through worse ( if that is any consolation).
Work on your mindset
This will pose as impossible at first but One thing that makes bad news bearable is TIME. Each time you remember how your goals were interrupted, you may tend to wallow in self pity. Do not try to stop yourself immediately. However, what you can do is practice gratitude. Be grateful for life and the opportunity to get a chance at trying one more time.
- Never compare yourself to anyone.
- It is NEVER too late to begin.
- Start your day with daily Affirmations.
- Refuse to see yourself as a failure.
- Start to positively look forward to the future.
Learn how to Manage your expectations.
This is as important as making the goals itself. We should try to be in control of our thought process 90% of the time. For example, when you have thought about pitfalls and made plans to counter it’s occurrence, the effect will not be half as much because you planned for unforeseen circumstances.
- Give room for mistakes.
- Have more than one plan.
- Know your immediate source of solutions. There are key people in our life that always know what to do when you are helpless.
Restrategise and Set a new timeline
At the expiration of the ‘moody’ period, we will have to revisit those goals and plans we ignored for a long time. However, the best part is we will be all rejuvenated and ready for whatever comes our way.
- Be willing to try again
- Plan using the lessons you have learnt
- Start when it is time.
- Be ready for unforeseen circumstances.
In life, things might not always go how we planned them. To ensure we are not taken by surprise, we must learn to manage our expectations and live intentionally.
Share your thoughts
How have you managed to reach your goal when challenges get in the way?
I will like to read from you