Unlearning bad habits

​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​Phaytea’s Pulse is participating in the #AtoZChallenge for 2017. The Theme is ‘Awakening of Self’ and ‘Unlearning bad habits’ is our entry for letter U. The theme focuses on character traits that will gear us towards Meaningful Living and will run for 26 days in April except sundays. Please stop by the blog everyday for subsequent posts as we read the 26 letters of the alphabet together. Enjoy!!☺☺

As a kid, i pretty much grew up getting most of the things I wanted . 

I didn’t get out of order, I was respectful, had parental guidance and all but I rarely got ‘no’ for an answer. 

Well, if i did get a ‘No’, it always came with an explanation fit for a child.

The story changed as I got older and started interacting with people outside my home. Let’s just say I found it difficult to understand how people’s opinion were different from mine and why they were not really interested in giving me an explanation as I would usually get at home.

Basically, i argued a lot and that led to lots of quarrels, not agreeing to share my story book/snacks and picking friends to share lunch time with.😉😉

I later got to learn that you cannot always get the ‘home treatment’ anywhere you go and i began to adjust to not expecting too much or no explanation at all from anyone who disagreed with my opinion.

That is one habit I had to ‘unlearn’ because it started affecting my relationship with people around me. 

I still argue sometimes, but the good thing is i am older, i can be calm and I know when to draw the line…..And if I start drifting, mum is there to remind me 😉😉

(With the way I argue, some people have wondered why I did not study law in school).

All through life, we must have picked habits from childhood or presently as adults.

These habits can be beneficial for living a meaningful life. However, there are some habits that are detrimental to our personal growth and relationship with the people we meet daily.

Those detrimental habits are the ones we need to look out for and ‘unlearn’.

We can recognise a bad habit when:

  • We always have to explain ourself.
  • We keep convincing ourself that it is fine to do it.
  • We never get a compliment from doing a particular thing.
  •  It is always yields a negative result.

We should also look out for those things we do without moderation. For instance, Eating too much, sleeping too much, drinking too much,playing too much etc 

Emphasis on ‘Too much’.

Unlearning a bad habit is not magical as it cannot be done in the twinkling of an eye.

However, a frightening encounter can make us stop a bad habit but if that is not the case, we will have to put in conscious effort and focus on achieving the desired goal.

Bad habit

Using different examples in the 8 steps below, I will explain how we can unlearn habits that deter us from living a meaningful life.

  1. Accept there is a ‘bad habit’ that causes you harm: Nothing can really be done, until we accept there is a problem and we desire to get it fixed.
  2. Identify what triggers you to indulge: For example, Do you binge eat or drink because you are sad? Do you sleep a lot because you are bored
  3. List out the harmful effects of indulging: Here, identify the negative things that happen when you indulge in a bad habit. For instance, complaining too much alters a relationship between two friends or eating without moderation is not good for the body.
  4. Determine to stop indulging: Reach to the conclusion that you need a better relationship with others or you need to keep fit.
  5. Try to control the triggers: If you tend to be disrespectful when speaking, try to be calm and avoid replying immediately. Pay attention to your choice of word and thoughts.
  6. Break routines and create new activities: If you will usually go to your favourite icecream spot after work, substitute that for time at the gym or for learning a new skill.
  7. Monitor your progress: Write down your challenges and try to fix it gradually, observe people’s reaction to the changeso you have made.
  8. Involve friends that will genuinely call you to order: Let your friends know they can call you to order when you start derailing.

We are human, so do not expect to unlearn bad habits overnight.

Do not also beat yourself up when you faulter.

Just always recognise that anything we do that stands as a barrier and stops us from reaching our relationship, career, family or personal goals should be dropped.

If you enjoyed reading this post, please share your thoughts.

Do you have any bad habit you are willing to unlearn?

What others method have you used to unlearn a bad habit?

Have you ever missed an opportunity because of a bad habit?

I will love to read from you.

Love, Peace and Cupcake

Phaytea😚😚😚

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27 Comments Add yours

  1. Cheila says:

    I would say that one of my best qualities is the fact that I always try to better myself. I know my flaws and my bad habits and have no problem in admitting them. Changing is hard and I don’t always achieve it, but I always mean to and I always try!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s great that you are broadminded and willing to unlearn things that do not benefit your personal goals. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Cheila 🙂 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Cheila says:

        Thank you!! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Jessicaml24 says:

    Great, really inspirational. I totally need to take some notes from this post and unlearn some bad habits!!! Thanks for sharing, Jessica http://www.alltheworld-blog.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Jessica, i’m glad you intend to unlearn habits that are not helpful. Thank you for reading 🙂 🙂

      Like

  3. Lovely post. So inspiring and motivating Phaytea. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for reading dear 🙂 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My pleasure. 😊

        Like

  4. juliemtms says:

    This was a very interesting read. My daughter is very argumentative so I hope she’s able to realize this one day.

    Like

    1. Aww..She will..trust me…..Growth exposes you to a lot of things…Thank you for sharing your thoughts

      Liked by 1 person

  5. The post is indeed inspiring. My bad habit is I let overthinking and negative thoughts to overpower my life. But it hinders most of the activities I really want to involve in. I am working on it! and your post helps XoXo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am glad it helps..you know, i have the tendency to worry a lot too…i usually just talk to someone who has so much positive vibes…sharing with someone you trust helps…hugssss

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yea it does…Virtual hugs 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Jasmin N says:

    What a wonderful post for the ones who wants to unlearn their bad habits!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. hi hi…Thank you Jasmin 🙂

      Like

  7. Good post. It’s good to understand your bad habits and start learning new to make you a better version of yourself. 🙂 My bad habit could be staying awake too long and regreting it every second morning haha! Maybe I’ll concentrate on that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. lol…That’s something you can work on…Just start and everything will fall in place..Thank you for the support. 🙂 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Payastyle says:

    I know what are you talking about. I also rarely heard no as an answer, but somehow I managed to grow up as not a selfish person at all. And I somehow knew what I can and cannot.

    Like

    1. I know right.. I am grateful that life gives us experiences e can learn from. Thank you for sharing your thoughts 🙂 🙂

      Like

  9. prernagargagarwal says:

    Very inspiring and introspective post. If I have to point my bad habit, it will be procrastination! I waste too much time sitting and thinking 😦

    Liked by 1 person

    1. hi hi…..i used to be that way..maybe still that way but i try to find my way around it and makes sure i still meet deadlines..its tricky but you can make the best out of procrastination…i actually wrote a post about….Thank you for sharing your thoughts 🙂

      Like

  10. toastycritic says:

    Habits are very hard things to break. We definitely need to break the bad ones. The only way I have found to do it is to supplant them with good habits instead. May we all find good habits to start in our lives.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Replacing bad habit with good ones should be encouraged…May we unlearn habits that contradict our goals..Thank you for sharing your thoughts 🙂

      Like

  11. Very inspiring indeed!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank youuuuuuuuu 🙂

      Like

  12. I believe that there is always a choice. I have a tattoo that says “in my life, I decide”. No matter what happens, you always decide how to handle things and this is the same as taking barriers away to dreams.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the lovely contribution Sabine 🙂 🙂 …We should be responsible for the outcome of our decisions.

      Like

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