No: A dreadful word?

​​​​​​​​​​​​Phaytea’s Pulse is participating in the #AtoZChallenge for 2017. The Theme is ‘Awakening of Self’ and ‘No: A dreadful word?’ is our entry for letter N. The theme focuses on character traits that will gear us towards Meaningful Living and will run for 26 days in April except sundays. Please stop by the blog everyday for subsequent posts as we read the 26 letters of the alphabet together. Enjoy!!☺☺

I am aware that ‘No’ is usually associated with disappointment and other dreadful words, but how bad can it be though?

The last time I was really scared of getting a ‘No’ response was in 2012. 

In Nigeria, every ‘fresh’ graduate is required to ‘serve’ the nation for a year before fully joining the labour market. 

Basically, you work and get paid by the government and the company you get deployed to. I got posted to a company that was quite far from where I live, that was a problem but the main problem was actually getting accepted by the company.

Everyone at that point prayed not to get a Rejection Letter because that meant having to get a new place of primary assignment which takes quite a while to conclude the process.

Guess what? I did get a rejection letter because they had considered the distance as well.

You know what that did for me? I got the opportunity to work with another company and after completing the required one year service, I got retained at work. (Of course, that came with a lot of process too but excludes the stress of jumping jobs and having to use understand a new environment).

Is it really true that when one door closes, another door opens?

Hearing No

Nobody looks forward to getting  a ‘No’ as response for a request.

It can be very heartbreaking especially when you have no guidance or direction.

If you eventually get a ‘no’, do not give up. Have faith and give yourself a second chance. It just might be an opportunity to find better options.

To handle this better, i recommend you read about Moving On and Managing Expectations as the steps listed in both articles will help.


Saying No

If you are anything like my mum, then you must find it extremely difficult to say No.

My mum would rather compromise or make sacrifices to ensure someone else is doing well.

That is a commendable quality and I love love her for that. But that is also why I try to jump in a few times to make sure her kindness is not being taken for granted.

I truly think that while being kind, it is sometimes important to be kind to yourself as well.

We should not say yes to things that are obviously not comfortable for us. This will end up getting you stressed.

Try saying yes to ‘Everything’ and see how overwhelming that can get.

Learn to draw the line and be decisive.

The emotional blackmail will always be present, so ensure that you are tactful when you have to reject an offer or say no.

Remember that being mindful is important so turn down offers politely and give genuine reasons why you have to say no.

Keyword: Mindfulness

Please share your thoughts

Do you find it difficult to say No?

Do you end up getting a full plate of ‘Yes’s’?

How do you know when to draw the line?

I’ll love to read from you.

Love, Peace and Cupcakes


33 thoughts on “No: A dreadful word?

  1. I don’t find it hard to say no. Sometimes is necessary. Either it’s with my daughter because I want to teach her values and I want her to understand that things don’t fall from the sky but also sometimes I don’t want to do something nor I feel I should just to please someone.
    Fair play to your Mum though 🙂 we are all different 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your mom sounds like my mom 🙂 Yep my mom also should have learnt to say no a long time back, but it is what it is 🙂 But seeing her, i think I did learn to do this correctly. It is not always easy but it sure saves us heartache, anger, remorse or regret later on.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Faith in God is at the core of my value system. I too have learned that “no” isn’t so bad. In fact, the times I’ve heard that, something better has come along. “When God closes a door, He opens a window”.


  4. I don’t find it difficult to say no to certain things – meeting with certain people, doing a “favour” for someone who will never return it or thank you for it, etc. It’s different with people you love, obviously. 🙂


  5. It is very difficult for me to say no to something. I started to say no when I have to, but then I want to give so many excuses. My father once said I don’t have to explain myself to everyone, I am still learning. Thank you for this great post.


  6. Being an only child, no is not a word I like. But I do like your explanation and genuine feedback on how it can be a really good thing in the end. Thank you for the reminder, I recently had to say no to something, but didn’t explain genuinely why. So now I am going to fix that.


    1. Hi’s actually just a scheme set up for students who just graduated from the university. It lasts for only one year and the ‘fun’ part depends on which company you are sent to. Thank you for reading Arv☺☺

      Liked by 1 person

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