Mindfulness: 7 things you do without knowing it leaves a bad impression.

…..or maybe you do know, but can’t be bothered….

Never mind what haters say, ignore them till they fade away…

T.I and Rihanna had a good time getting us psyched up with the song ‘Live your Life’. I totally love that song by the way, but unless you plan to live in space with aliens, you should care a tiny bit about how you live your life and avoid being quick to assume someone is a ‘hater’ (This word is used loosely these days).

How about we look inward?

As individuals, we have different personality traits which reflects in our temperament, character, thinking, speaking and understanding. We also have the ‘right’ to insist our personality is ‘who we are’ and we ‘cannot/will not change’ for anyone. 

However, mindfulness teaches us to be fully aware of our behaviour, to avoid being overly reactive and be able to manage our expectations.

It is difficult to suddenly change our personality but being devoted to mindfulness enables us to think before we speak or react.

I like to say: 

You are only as good as your last behaviour….

But what happens when you have no idea you behaved inappropriately? Trust me, being judged for something you did unintentionally is awkward and can be avoided when you are mindful.

We can never know everything about mindfulness, but once we consciously strive to be a better person, it reflects in our personality.

I will be sharing seven things we most likely do with good intentions but still end up sending the wrong vibes to other people. Some things on this list also form our impression about people and vice versa:

• Teasing a friend in public using a personal information you were told in confidence. 

Nobody likes to be teased about his/her issues in public no matter how nicely put. Doing this to a person you know will hurt and it should be regarded as inappropriate. Do you agree?

• Talking or asking questions without tact. (Familiarity is no excuse for inappropriate comments).

Have you met them? The ones that ask you questions like: Why are you now fat? You don’t pay school fees, what do you need money for? or when will you start having kids? Any statement or question that puts a person in an awkward situation is inappropriate and certainly gives a wrong vibe about the person asking.

•  Perfectionist disorder. (Extreme or light cases) 

Refusing to accept any standard short of perfection is encouraged but do you notice how offensive it gets if the person in question gets emphatic or bossy. Honestly, if i have to work with an’extreme perfectionist’ i always go- oh no!…not again. I think you can achieve perfection without being unpleasantly overpowering. Mindfulness is key.

• What Sussie says of Sally says more about Sussie than of Sally. 

This is quite explanatory. The intention is to ‘gist’ but are you over doing it? Read again. You definitely give others the wrong vibe if you are Sussie. 

• Are you pessimistic most of the time? You should pay attention to what you’re talking about.

Looking out for the bad in everything? whining, complaining a lot? That isn’t the vibe people want to get from you especially when it involves starting a task.

We all have our bad days but if you’re constantly coming to others with one problem or the other or insisting you have bigger problems than them, you are definitely sending out the wrong vibes. Do not be a killjoy.

• Goody two shoes ~ smart alec ~conceited.

I had to sum up all three because they tilt towards being self confident but when it’s done in excess, it sends out the wrong vibes. There is a thin line between being confident and being cocky.

• Being unapologetic

As mentioned earlier, we have the right to insist we are not sorry for the ‘person’ we are or have become and that’s fine. I also agree that we should be ‘unapologetically ourself’ but avoid being irresponsible about it. Be fair and ensure you are ‘doing things the right way’ and not just ‘doing things right’. Apologise when you are wrong.

Nugget: Don’t just ‘live your life’ , be mindful, look inward because change begins with you.

Are there things you’ve been judged for before you got the chance to apologise?

Are there things you do with good intentions but somehow gets misunderstood?

Please share in the comment section so we can all learn and unlearn.

Also add to the list if you will😉😉

Love, Peace and Cupcakes

Phaytea😘😘😘